Where are ya looking? Devotional # 3

This is my devotional #3
Its called "where ya looking" Now before I before begin I just want to give a bit of background on me. Since day 1 I've always tried to compete with the rest of the world, to the point where I was ashamed of how I was created. What do I mean by that well, living Cerebral Palsy is very strenous on one's body. Since day 1 I would always try to emulate people of the world. friends, celeberties etc, I did this because I thought it would open doors for me to get socially accepted.
I did anything I could to be considered "COOL." That wasn't always the case for me, because if I recieved adoration from people, I loved it, but I always wanted to push myself to go further and do bigger things to get more adoration.

Because I loved the attention, but in reality it was a false peace. At 14 I suffered the loss of my grandmother and to say the least it was extremely hard to deal with. The woman would treat me like her own son, but even more so she always went that extra mile to make sure I was included in everything. Are connection got so strong that members of my own family hated the attention I was recieving and they constantly complained about that. Needless to say when she died, and I walked into the funeral home I saw her lying ther and I colasped. my mom barely could hold me up.

That day I do believe our family cried enough tears that day to fill up Stratford's Avon River. I got home that day and I prayed for the first time. I was searching for answers, I hoped to God that God was taking care of her.
That day God came a knocking at my door.... But I would not answer the door and let the light in for another seven years.
From the time she died I tried my best to believe than I did the greatest sin ever, I became complacent in the lord, and the belief slowly diminished from there.
Well I continued on the path that I was on which was not a good one at that, I entered college and I fell in with some bad friends leading to even worse situations. Those things now that I look back on them I would call them "my tribulation." At now 23, I have accepted Jesus back into my life, and he has become my whole life, I believe its due to the point where I live, I believe God himself was working on me, trying to get me to realze where I really needed to be at. I accepted Christ back into my life and everything has been wonderful I was glad God came a knocking a second time. Even in my happiness I am still speaking the word, and why? I do it because I want to reach the world as it spirials downward. What do I mean by that, well with all the stuff the world now has, they have lost God. because they are apart of this world.

Some people say to me, I don't need God, I am Christian already, well there's a huge difference in being Christian from just saying you are and actually believing and following God's word. One of the first things my pastor ever said to me is "Anthony , if you want God in your life, you have have to build a relationship with him. People always say to me , they have their own beliefs and they are smart enough to know better, some would there is no such thing as God, there's scientific proof. Its a hoax they say, well when I heard about this, I laughed because in a world where people seem to have all the anwswers, their are more people everyday coming to their own personal crossroads in their verious lives. So the people want proof that God exists, well this reminded of a sagement in the book of Angels and Demons. For those of you who have read it I am sure you will remember this part I am about to speak on. Leonardo Vetra a Scientist at Cern tries to re-create the big bang, and by doing that he would prove that God existed, now why would he do that? Vetra was a prior member of the clergy order. He went on a mission to find out through a series if experiments that would show the existance of God.

Reading that reminded me of John 6:26 Jesus says, I tell you the truth you do not foltlow me because you want me, but you ate the loaves, and still want mircles. reading that I thought wow isn't the way sees Jesus these days. If theres no dramatic event that effects them personally they refuse to believe, Whats wrong with that? Where are you looking for your answers, Do you hear the word? Think about that one, If your still not convinced than maybe this video will help you comprenhend my thoughts better than I can get through to all of you.



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